Dear University Parking Office,
While I absolutely love that you deduct money from my paycheck every month so that I can attempt to park in a specific color coded area on campus, I'd like a refund. I'm sick and tired of circling campus while people who have not paid a dime for parking are happily parking their cars in our spots and your staff is too busy chilling in the A/C to get out and write them tickets. However, I am certain that if I parked in an alternative zone, I would indeed be asked to pay more money for parking because you would give me a ticket. You.are.horrible. There, I said it.
Yours,
frustrated driver
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Dear PhD school,
I miss my husband. You are keeping him out three nights a week and I miss him. Please grant him a free phd with no more coursework so I can hopefully move out of Texas and somewhere closer to family.
Love,
the mrs.
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Dear neighbor,
Clean up your yard. You are not the proud owner of a jalopy version of the botanical gardens. The rest of us are working hard to keep our yards nice, and you just keep planting a random mess. Please take your giant satellite dish down from your roof and use it to collect all the random mess growing in your yard. These things belong out of site. If you wanna grow a mess, do so in your backyard or move to the country so we don't have to look at it everyday.
ps. if you see me tiptoeing in your front yard at 2am, i'm just "watering" the plants.
your friend and soon-to-be weedkiller,
the mrs.
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Dear president O,
I'm not interested in free and crappy healthcare or socialism for that matter. I'd prefer to continue to work and receive decent healthcare paid for by my employer. I have friends who are doctors and they would like to stay in their profession. Med school does not pay for itself. While you are at it, can we stop with the "cash for clunkers" and other incentives to
fix the economy...I'm pretty sure we'll be paying those program bills when I'm 90. While I'm at it...not every single person in the world should go to college, either. If we all get a bachelor's degree, then it will become the requirement to wait tables at a restaurant. I work in higher ed and while we love to have strong enrollment, we don't need to over-saturate the market. Have you thought this through at all? Just curious.
XOXO,
Anonymous tax payer
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Dear Good Morning America,
I do not care about the latest update from the Michael Jackson case. I'm sorry he died, but you have completely run this into the ground. While your at it, we're sick of hearing about Teddy K, Jon & Kate, and other scandals that you like to repeat over and over, while leaning way to the left.
Thanks!
the mrs.